TWO GREAT GUN ORGANIZATIONS IN THE US

From the mailbag: Dear Ted, if we wanted to learn more about guns in America, what groups should we contact.  Thanks.  Heinie from Germany

Thanks for your email, Heinie. We have not one, but TWO great gun organizations here in the United States. These organizations work tirelessly in order to ensure that every American citizen can be fully armed with whatever weapon they want. They have blocked hundreds of laws designed to keep guns out of the hands of all people and have advocated the ability for people to conceal carry weapons and open carry weapons as well. They work to make sure that all Americans are safe.

And their actions ensure that you would be safe too if you visit the United States on Holiday!

The United States--Still Safer than Swaziland!

Since the tragedy in Orlando this last weekend, many people across the world have contacted me asking "Hey, Ted, is the USA still a safe place to visit for holiday?"

My answer: You bet! The United States is safer than Swaziland. It's also safer than Colombia. South Africa. And many more!

Chart via Wikipedia

Sure, you might not want to go to a gay nightclub. Or an elementary school. Or an African American church. Or a theater, perhaps.

But if you do, that's okay too!  Many places have concealed carry laws--thanks to the Republican Party and the National Rifle Association. That means that a Good Guy with a Guy might be nearby to protect you.

But, just to be extra safe, you may want to purchase a kevlar vest before you make your holiday in the good 'ol U.S. of A!  Bullet Blocker--an American Company--has a great assortment of vests, backpacks and other safety products that will take the worry out of your USA travel plans. They even have kid sizes! You can even buy a bulletproof case for your iPad! Now that's being prepared.

Ohio: The Safest Place to Visit (Thanks Open Carry!)

Ohio is trying to change up its image. Mary Cusick, the new director of Ohio tourism, recently stated that she wants "to create a brand that will make people want to visit Ohio."

We here at USA Holiday Planner thought we could help her out in that department.  We know tourism.

And there is nothing that increases tourism like guns.

The way we see it, the more guns the more tourists!

And Ohio loves their guns.

As a traditional Open Carry state, there are plenty of guns in Ohio---with people willing to carry them out in the open.

Come to Ohio and you just might have the pleasure of meeting this guy and his AR-15.

Or this guy:

Good thing she has that gun strapped to her leg.  Her baby has never been safer.

Here are some patriots protecting a statue at the Ohio statehouse. God bless 'em!

These students at Ohio State University have never been safer, thanks to Open Carry:

We think we have a marketing strategy for Mary Cusick.  And here is the first prototype of an ad that will surely bring more people to Ohio:

You're welcome, Mary Cusick!

Target Releases New Open Carry Friendly Ads

Despite the public uproar over allowing Open Carry advocates to openly carry firearms in their stores, Target took a different approach.  They recently released several ads highlighting open carry.

"We want Target to be the safest store in America," said Mary Spider, the Target spokesperson.  "To do so, we are turning to Open Carry advocates.  Their presence in our stores makes us all feel a little safer."

Open Carry advocate Elizabeth Borden agreed.  "Whenever I go into Target without my weapons, people creep on me.  Especially in the Lego aisle.  Girls can like Lego too, you know."

"When I open carry," said advocate Harry Callahan, "I always get what I want.  That last box of Oreos?  They're mine."

These ads are just a few in the new series.  "We are trying to get Rachael Ray and Nate Berkus to open carry in our stores together," said Spider.  "That would be awesome."

Some of Target's new ads can be viewed below.

UPDATE:  Target just released a clarification of their gun policy. 

New Target Ad Targets Gun Owners

Retail giant Target, in the midst of an open carry controversy, recently sided with Open Carry advocates by releasing a new ad that targets their right to carry assault rifles in the store.

"We are called 'Target' after all," said Target spokesperson, Mary Spider.  "We want all people to feel welcome in our stores.  And having heavily armed people just makes us all a little bit safer.  You can buy your diapers knowing that Target is the safest store in the United States."

Check out the ad below.

Target: The Safest Place to Buy Oreos

The United States Finally Has the Wild West it Always Wanted

In The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Clint Eastwood’s 1966 Western masterpiece, there are a total of 126 violent deaths, most by gun-toting, pre-NRA loving, open-carry heroes.

But that was not the actual Wild West.  No, the Wild West of history was actually quite boring.  Towns never had a murder rate as high as what appeared in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.  Not even close. Even the town of Tombstone, famous for the gunfight at the OK Corral, had a highest gun death total of 3---in 1881 and because of that infamous gunfight (which only lasted for 30 seconds.  The 1957 movie has a running time of 122 minutes, which is 244 times longer than the actual gunfight).

The notorious city of Dodge, Kansas, recorded only 17 murders between 1876 and 1885.  The highest was 5 recorded in 1878.  And in some years, no one was murdered at all. Unbelievable.

Plus, one thing the movies don’t mention is that gun control was a reality in many Wild West towns.  In 1881, the Tombstone city council passed Ordinance #9, which prohibited anyone other than law enforcement from carrying guns.  The famous gunfight actually occurred in an attempt to disarm several “bad guys with guns.”

The Anti-Gun Sign Outside of Dodge City

In fact, many western towns prohibited all guns from entering the city limits.   In Wichita, Kansas, visitors were required to leave their guns at the police station or face arrest.  A sign that greeted visitors to Dodge City were told that the “Carrying of firearms is strictly prohibited.”  Next to drunk and disorderly conduct, the most recorded arrests in the “Wild West” were for carrying firearms.  As a result, the murder rate in frontier towns averaged about 1.5 a year. Granted, the populations were much lower, but still….boring. 

Luckily, we don’t have such laws today and people can work out their problems on the streets, just like Clint Eastwood or John Wayne.  The famous Wild West of the movies is now a glorious reality on the streets of America—just as the founders (and Jesus) intended.

You can now experience the thrill of a shootout just like in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly:

Driver opens fire on cops with AK-47

Officer kills man in Northwest Baltimore shootout 

2 officers hurt in shootout near Nevada City campground

Bullet from Orange County shootout strikes woman on couch 

2 Concealed Carry Holders Kill Each Other In Road Rage Incident

Instead of corrals or saloons, the preferred American shootout place seems to be waffle houses:

Two fired guns in Waffle House shootout, report shows

One arrested after deadly Waffle House shootout

Victims recall chaos of Brandon Waffle House shooting

Waffle House employee shoots customer to death

Georgia cop shot in back, killed at Waffle House after suspects used racial slurs, brother says

Many Americans grew up playing "Cops and Robbers" or "Cowboys and Indians."  Now, you can live out your childhood on the actual streets! And, in many places, you can actually walk around carrying your guns openly! We finally have the Wild West we always wanted.  This is one of the biggest selling points for tourists coming to ‘Murica.  Book your trip today!

The Wild West. For Real.

The NRA Resurrects Bert the Turtle for New School Safety Video

Clip from "Duck, Return Fire," a new NRA-sponsored
school safety video.

In light of the recent mass shootings in America, most recently at an Oregon high school, the National Rifle Association has teamed up with the U.S. Civil Defense to educate Americans on what must be done to end the violence.  The solution, of course, is more guns.  Arm the children, says the NRA.

The NRA decided to bring back Bert the Turtle from the old 1951 Civil Defense film.  Bert is a lovable turtle who saved countless lives during the Cold War by teaching the "Duck and Cover" drills.

"It was Bert the Turtle who won the Cold War," said Wayne LaPierre at a recent press conference. "Now, Bert is going to help us win the war against bad guys with guns."

Instead of telling students to duck and cover, Bert now tells them to "duck and return fire."  It's a great plan that can only lead to success.  Check out the video below.

Conversations with Sven: Is Michigan Safe for Holiday?

Sven, a former client of mine who lives in Sweden asked me recently about travel to the great state of Michigan.

"Ted," he asked.  "I've seen those 'Pure Michigan' ads and want to take a trip.  Is it safe there?"

Is it safe?  Of course it is, I told him.

And then the question that almost everyone considers when thinking of travel to the United States: "What about the guns?  They got a lot there, no?"

I took a deep breath.  It's hard to explain this to Americans and even harder explaining it to foreigners.

I told him that yes, there are a lot of guns in Michigan.  But the 436,000 concealed carry permits in Michigan help keep Michiganders and tourists very safe.

"But more people die of guns in Michigan than in car accidents," he said.

Sven had done his research.

That may be true, I told him.  "But Michigan's homicide rate is rather low."

Sven furrowed his eyebrows.  "In 2012, there were 536 murders in Michigan by guns.  All of Sweden only had 58 in the same year."

"Yes, but that is so much lower than California.  California had over 1300 murders by gun in 2012."

"But California's population is larger.  California's murder rate was actually lower than Michigan." He fumbled through some papers.

"What you got there," I asked.

"The F.B.I. Uniform Crime Report," he replied.  "I downloaded it from the internet today."

"Ya.  Here it is," he continued.  "California may have had the most homicides by gun, followed by Texas and Michigan.  But its murder rate was 5.0 per 100,000.  Michigan's was 7.0."

I took a sip of my coffee.  "Yes, but when you look at it that way, Michigan is only #6.  Not even in the top 5."

"Well, the top two aren't even states."

I looked down at the sheet.  He was right.  The top was Puerto Rico with a rate of 26.7.  That was followed by Washington, D.C. with a rate of 13.9.

"Now you have to remember," I told him.  "That rate is not just because of guns, but knives and other weapons as well."

"True," replied Sven.  "But still, the majority of these murders are committed by guns.  Why should I go to Michigan---"  He paused as he scanned the tables.  "---When I can go to New Hampshire, which has the lowest murder rate at 1.8?"

"That's even lower than Sweden, isn't it?"  I said with a smile.

"No, it isn't.  Sweden's murder rate is only .89.  We had only 58 murders with guns.  The United States had close to 10,000.  That's 162 times more than us."

I took another sip of coffee.  "Well, what's there to see in New Hampshire?  You want to live, you need to take risks."

I continued.  "Michigan's got beautiful beaches.  Great bed and breakfasts.  The Henry Ford Museum. Michigan has a lot to offer."

"True," Sven said, folding up his sheets of paper.  "Maybe I go.  Or, maybe just to Canada."

The fact is that America is the greatest place to visit.  Yes, there are a lot of guns.  But the majority of Americans are law-abiding people who just really want to protect others.  They are waiting for that moment when they can pull out their concealed handguns and take out a bad guy with a gun.

"As the NRA says, Sven," I tell him, "The only thing stopping a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.  And there are more good guys than bad."

"Just stay out of Detroit," I added.

Celebrating Open Carry--World Edition

Thanks to Open Carry Texas, the country is beginning to see just how important this is to the preservation of our security and our constitution.  These open carry advocates are the "good guys with guns."  Their presence not only demonstrates the strength of our Constitution, but the stability of our society.  They make us safer.  There's nothing like a guy with a large assault rifle walking down the street to give you that sense of comfort and calm.

They also look incredibly cool carrying their guns too.

There are other countries that allow Open Carry, too.  Although you should visit the United States, a visit to these countries would provide the same uplifting, exciting experience.  Here is a celebration of Open Carry in other parts of the world:

Open Carry in Libya

Cool Guys with Guns in Libya

Open Carrying in Somalia with a Smile

Open Carry in Yemen

Open Carry Texas Guys Open Carry at Local Sex Shop

(June 4, 2014  Dallas, TX)
After hanging out with their rifles and their pals at Target, a couple of Open Carry Texas guys were found open carrying in a local sex shop.

"We were just hoping to get a date," said one who didn't give his name, but said his profile was available on GunLoversPassion.com, a dating site for gun affectionados. "My profile name is 'Double Barrel,'" he added.

Open Carry Texas is a gun advocacy group that has been making headlines with members carrying long rifles and assault weapons in very public areas, such as Home Depot, Target, Chili's and Starbucks.  This is the first time that they open carried in a sex shop, however.

"I come here a lot," said the other young man.  "Mostly without my gun, though."  He walks down the isle, admiring the new assortment of blow-up dolls.  "If they had a Sarah Palin one, I'd buy that in an instant."

Members of Open Carry Texas open carrying in Dallas sex shop.

New Home Depot Ad

Good on Home Depot for supporting "Open Carry" in Texas.  Apparently, they are "standing their ground" when it comes to the backlash from the anti-gun crowd.  Home Depot just unveiled a new ad campaign.  This campaign is called, "You Can Bring It."

Thank you, I will.

Texas Legislature Considering “Open Genital Carry” to Stem Gun Violence

(5/30/2014 Austin, TX)
In a rare move aimed at stemming gun violence, the Texas legislature is considering a bill that would allow men to display their genitals in public.

“It’s a known fact that there is a direct correlation between the feeling some men have for guns,” said Dick Lackey (R-Dallas), the bill’s sponsor, “and the feeling they have for their cocks.”

Lately, Texas has come under fire due to the fact that members of Open Carry Texas have been harassing people with assault rifles in public places, such as Chipotle and Starbucks.  In several instances, police were notified due to the uneasy feeling other customers had in the presence of the armed groups of men.  No arrests have been  made.  Both Chipotle and Starbucks have asked people not to bring weapons into their stores.

“I think it’s a great idea,” said Stan Rubbov, Dallas Police Commissioner.  “If these men could just walk around with their penises in their hands instead of guns, all citizens would be much safer.  It’s really what they want to do anyway. We should just let them.”

Governor Rick Perry supports the measure.  “Look, I love guns,” he said.   “But sometimes I would just rather have my cock in my hand.”

Planning to visit the United States?  Want information about how to stay safe?  America is a great tourist destination and we are here to alleviate any fears you may have.  America is full of well-armed and nice people willing to protect you and make you feel at home.  'Merica!



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